How to find the mobile browser that fits your needs - Special Mobile edition

How to find the mobile browser that fits your needs

Yes yes, even mobile phones have internet these days. The browsers on it generally suck but of course there are some good ones out at the moment. Just like I did with the other browser guide, go look up the one title that fits most with the person you are.

LOL I AM BROWSING THE MOBILE INTARWEBS!
Again, stop using the internet. It’s people like you that keep technology stuck in the past. Which browser do you want? Internet Explorer Mobile, a version which funny enough works better than IE6…

Perfect rendering, slow speeds but at least I have flash
Opera Mobile 9 (or 10 beta) is perfect for you! You can enable Flash Lite for this browser with a simple mod and it renders pages fast. Anyway it’s better than IE Mobile and HTC phones use this baby as the default browser for a reason; IT DOESN’T SUCK!

Perfect rendering, fast speeds but no flash
Something we all know is that Flash on a mobile phone sucks. Why even bother using it when you can trade flash in for THE fastest mobile browser in the world? Opera Mini 5 (beta) is perfect for you! It comes with a build in Google Mobile search support and is fine-tuned to be as light as possible for a phone is not a desktop.

iHipster, iFaggot, iPretendToBeCool, iPhone
iPhones suck, lack the basic features other smartphones already have for years and guess what? Owning one does not make you look cool. In fact it is proven that most people who own an iPhone are cheap basterds who are either in debt or have a low income. Have fun with you Safari or whatever it is iPhones use.

I am a sick pervert who wants to look at pages on my phone just like they appear on my desktop, including laggish flash rendering for my porn sites
Have no fear, Skyfire is here! The browser that renders a site on a desktop and sends you a copy by a very slow system which makes your 7mbit/s HSDPA network look like 56kb/s GrPS network. But hey,at least you can watch porn and YouTube on it, it’s not like YouTube has apps for every phone out there… ow crap, they have! Well, it’s not like you can watch porn in your phone’s media player… ow crap, you can!

Firefox.
Sorry, Firefox is still working on their Mobile version which won’t be a success since Opera is already dominating the mobile market.

Also, I use Opera Mini 5 beta because it the fastest and most stable mobile browser out there for my Windows Phone. Flash sucks on a mobile phone which I found out during my Opera Mobile 9 days and the same applies for IE mobile which funny enough IS better working than IE6 even tho they are both from the same era (no freezes or crashes, lolwut?).